It's Been A While
by generalquistis
Summary: This is another songfic that's also a QUIEFER/SEIFTIS... Just read it, okay??? then if you have time, REVIEW!


It's Been A While…

Song by: Staind; songfic by General Quistis

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Author's note: This is gonna be lame, but I know that there'd been several songfics with this same song and maybe they're also Quiefers or Seiftises… but this is my own view of the song… I strongly believe that it really suits them well, okay????? ;_;

Please read and review if you have the guts (and the time)

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It's been a while since I could hold my head up high 

_And it's been a while since I first saw you_

_And it's been a while since I could stand_

_On my own two feet again_

_And it's been a while_

_Since I could call you_

          Seifer proceeded inside the Quad where the SeeD ball was currently on-going. The whole place was well-lit and he could see some of the new graduates dancing with their dates, together with the others who were already SeeDs. He scanned the whole place while cursing himself at why he ever proceeded to become a SeeD… "The uniform doesn't even suit me well…" he thought as he remembered that he was already wearing one. With enough poise and his head up high like some kind of important person, he walked past some of the SeeDs and faculty members inside and they all looked at him like it was the first time they saw him in 10 years.

He could recall that he got accepted back in the Garden just 2 years ago and he became a student there again so that finally, he could become a SeeD. With enough patience and hard work, he finally passed, also with the help of his former instructor, Quistis Trepe. The name placed a smile on his lips. He became a SeeD just 2 years ago also, but right after his SeeD ball, his real parents showed themselves up and wanted to take him under their wing again.

Asking advice from the only "mother" that he had known, Edea just told him to accept his parents because he knew that he needed their love and that it's not too late. 

After 2 years of staying with his real parents, they let him go back to the Garden but with a promise that he'd come back again to take a vacation somehow.

Through those events, Seifer became a new person. "Better than sending him into the rehab center for mentally-ill people," he could remember those words that he heard from Zell on the day that he returned. "Bah! The nerve of that chicken-wuss. Good thing I wasn't in the mood to bash him…" Seifer thought when he remembered that. 

_And everything I can remember_

Is fucked up as it all may seem 

_The consequences that I've rendered_

_I stretched myself behind my means_

          He stopped when he caught sight of Rinoa and Squall in the dance floor. "Puberty-boy can dance," he thought. He wanted to laugh when he realized that they were dancing the boogie. Seifer just shrugged it off as he proceeded to reminisce on the nasty things that he had done and said to anyone he caught a glimpse of at that moment. Squall, Rinoa, Zell, Selphie… even the Headmaster Cid, Raijin and Fuujin. 

"I had a rough time…" he realized. 

He almost jumped in surprise when someone tapped his left shoulder. He spun around in surprise and he couldn't believe his eyes when he saw the girl whom he had been searching for, ever since he arrived back in the Garden that day. "Quistis!" he said in disbelief, a happy smile on his face.

His former instructor smiled shyly at him. "Seifer, you're back!" she said in almost a whisper. She didn't care if anyone would see her talking to the former Teacher's Enemy Number 1. 

Seifer shrugged and tried to act calm, but he was really a little bit restless especially since he noticed that she was looking at SeeD uniform. "Okay, I know it looks bad on me, just say it to my face! I don't mind! I won't even add your name over and over again in the list." He told her with a silly smile on his face.

Quistis looked up at him. "Oh, no… it doesn't look bad on you. I think it's just fine." She told him with an assuring smile.

_And it's been a while since I couldn't say_

_That I wasn't addicted and_

_It's been a while since I couldn't say I love myself as well_

_And it's been a while_

_Since I've gone and fucked things up_

_Just like I always do_

_And it's been a while_

_But all that shit seems to disappear when I'm with you._

          As he reminisced on the things mean that he had said to her in the past, he kind of wanted to smack himself for doing so. "Get a hold of yourself, Seifer, maybe she's forgiven you! It wasn't exactly your fault, right?" he thought…

Not exactly his fault… yeah right… He frowned and turned away from her, attempting to go off to another place where he could not confront her; but she stopped him. "Hey, hold on… what list?" she asked.

He stopped and turned to her. The dancing music stopped and another song with lyrics and Seifer listened quietly to the song.

"Oh… don't worry about it… I scratched your name off that list anyway." He said with a silly smile on her face.

She nodded her head. "Well… so how are you doing?" she asked.

He looked down at her with perplexity. "How come she talks to me right now without even a trace of doubt in her face? How could she ever trust me after the nasty things that I've done in this Garden…especially when I was still her student?" he thought. "Fine, how about you?" he asked.

"I'm still alive," she joked with an uneasy smile. She didn't want to sound so crummy while talking to him.

Figuring that things had really changed between him and everyone, he recalled that it's really been a long time ever since got into trouble against Squall and the others… and he couldn't help but look down in shame… and that will lead him to think that "I've always fucked things up just like I always do… what if I end up doing that again?"  He stopped his thoughts when he heard that line from the song that was playing… _it's been a while since I've gone and fucked things up just like I always do_ … 

but he noticed that she kept her eyes on him, a look of concern could be seen in them. "Seifer?" she asked, wondering if he's okay.

He looked at her with a slight smile on his face… _But all that shit seems to disappear when I'm with you…_

_But everything I can't remember  
As fucked up as it all may seem  
The consequences that I've rendered  
I've gone and fucked things up again  
  
_

          Seifer turned away from her and walked out, going to the Training Center, and after confronting 3 Bite Bugs, he finally made it to the Secret Place. 

He had the whole place to himself and it pleased him a little because he could have a little privacy. Then, as he leaned against the railing, a sudden realization came to his senses: "Hey, why did you leave Quistis in there? You were supposed to speak to her and tell her how much you'd appreciate it if she would listen to you say how much you had missed her! Damn it!" he could clearly hear his conscience scolding him.

He raked his fingers through his blonde hair and frowned slightly when he tried to recall everything in his childhood, but couldn't. All he could remember was this blonde little girl chasing him up the steps of that old orphanage, telling him, "Yoo did dat on perpus!"

"No, I did not, Quisty!" he recalled his little young self, answering back while laughing heartily. He smiled at the memory on why she was chasing him… he egged her.

"Seifer, you're such a mean guy…" he muttered to himself upon the memory.

And just when he entered the Garden, he kept on causing more trouble, not only to himself but to others as well… 

And at that moment, he really felt bad…

He stopped his thoughts when he realized that the music could still be heard from where he is standing.

_Why must I feel this way?_

"I don't know…" he thought silently as a reply.

Just make this go away… 

His eyes narrowed.

Just one more peaceful day 

          He sighed heavily. "Right… just what I need… one more peaceful day…" he thought.

_It's been a while since I could look at myself straight_

_And it's been a while since I said I'm sorry_

_And it's been a while since I've seen the way_

_The candles light your face_

_And it's been a while_

_But I can still remember just the way you taste_

          It's been a while since he returned to the Garden to finally become a SeeD…and said sorry to those people who were affected by his bad behavior… 

And he stopped when he heard someone approaching him from behind. "Alone?" 

He turned around and saw her with a slight smile on her face. 

"You're missing all the fun there. Zell's been dared to eat 10 hotdogs in one bite and he accepted the challenge." She told him as she came closer.

He smiled as he studied her. 

And the memory from those classroom walls returned to him… that he had always adored his former instructor.

"Well then why aren't there to watch him?" he asked.

"I can't, it's too gross." She replied honestly.

_But everything I can't remember  
Is fucked up as it all may seem to be  
I know it's me  
I cannot blame this on my father  
He did the best he could for me  
  
_

          "_Be a man, Seifer… be a man…do what you have to do. You've done the good things that you could, now prove that you can do better…_" he recalled those words from his own father.

It's been awhile, since I could  
Hold my head up high

          With that, he looked down at her. "Quistis," he began with a determined tone and facial expression.

  
_It's been awhile since I've said I'm sorry  
  
_

          She looked up at him with total curiosity. "Yeah?" she asked.

He smiled kindly at her. "When we get back there, can I dance with you?" …

-end-

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***Another Author's Note:Okay, that was lame… I was a little uninspired when I wrote this… it just spilled out of my diseased brain and I had to have somewhere to put it… so there you have it…


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